I’m done…

Well it is official. I al completely lost it!  Today was sooo weird for me. I had the worse headache to the point of me not remembering anything( brain damage..not the time to talk about that subject) and now that i am up and not feeling well my friends got on my case and told me i needed to eat. OK i know what you are thinking. Alexis you havent eaten all day and it would be best if you ate. and yes i know that. But understand that i know i need to eat so i said i’ll eat later. but they are like no you need to eat now. what is the difference of eating now or eating later? i mean seriously! and then they said oh thats why you have a headache b/c you havent eaten all day. Ok yes another good point but i have been dealing with these headaches for 3 years and i know the difference between a food hunger headache and a oh my dear God my brain damage is acting up. i mean doesnt anyone in this world trust me! i feel like i’ve lost some good people tonight but i’m tried of it. i never get comfort i get lectures and attitude and then they wonder why i have attitude when they dish it right at me!

Look i hate fighting or anything like that but today was just that time where I wake up in a bad mood and dont feel well and the first thing i hear is you need to eat and when i deny its like..WTF ALEXIS..DONT BE A BABY EAT SOMETHING!  whoa! i will just not now? i understand that they are trying to help but i mean…come on? i do know my body and what it needs but seriously give me a break! i have had to deal with my mother not giving me a hug when i scraped my knee or anything but when my friends or ex boyfriends or fuck whoever says they care about my well being but the way they do it is through telling me that i’m just being a baby or that i am wrecking my body? WTH does that do? I;m sorry i’m not a fan of tough love since i had to live with it all my life. so right now…i’m done…no more telling people about my condition…not more boyfriends…no more friends. I cant do it anymore! i’m done getting my heart crushed by everyone i put my heart and soul into cuz all they do is play with it then break it. over and over and over. i’m weak and tired and just given up on anyone. I’m thinking of leaving the academy and saving my parents money and going to a community college. dunno yet. ne ways more to tell when i figure it out. going to finish this soup and going to bed. and maybe i wont wake up in the morning. then the world will be rid of another whiner.

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