Another night of no sleep..ugh

Hello word press,

Yes i know its  almost 6 am and well i cant sleep. too much on my mind. I have been sitting in my bed for over an hour just trying to get myself to sleep. but sadly enough i did not prevail. I dont understand why i cant sleep. i am happy to a certain extent. i have a loving bf…well wish he could show a little more physical touch but again that might be me being greedy. i always feel like i need to be loved or something. i mean is that a bad thing? maybe…. but its only from a bf. Wether is sexual or just cuddling. I feel as if he just cuddles then when i fall asleep or i get comfortable he moves away or when i awake he’s gone doing something else…i dunno maybe its all in my head or something. I guess just lately i have been stressing with money and classes and life. My head hurts all the time..i either eat a lot or not at all. I feel sick to my stomach and my body feels numb. What’s wrong with me. i feel as if i cant put anything together anymore. Am i losing it? And when i want to talk to someone about it they just say…ur stressed and just sleep it off. all i do is sleep in the day or not at all. i mean when my friends are gone i sleep, when my bf isn’t here i sleep. but when they are i am up and ready to go but they arent cuz they have been out all day. sooooooo again…what’s the matter with me? why cant i keep my mind clear? i always feel like i have the world on my shoulders!  Parents want soo much. trying to impress my friends, making sure i can keep this bf and not have to question his love for me ( which i do sooo often) i mean i feel angry all the time and it tires me out. I dont like to be angry. i am a loving and happy person…..but i always feel irritated. I hate that…..its really bothersome. i have  a doctors appointment tomorrow at 2. so wish me luck. i hope its just sleep deprived or something not too serious. cuz i cant have that on my plate right now. i will literally kill myself if i have another thing to add on to my worry list……i just dont have the energy to keep up with issues…. well any ways…i think i can get myself to sleep…gnight word press.


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