Leave me be!!!

“Finally, I have the house to myself.” said Sandy as she makes herself some tea. She grabs her laptop and starts to surf facebook as always, and she gets a friend request from a guy named Tony. ” Hm, I don’t know this guy?” He had a mask on and no mutual friends. She clicks decline and checks on her boiling water. Boop! Sandy turns around and walks to her computer. Its Tony, He messaged her, Hey :). She sits down and types, Um…Hi. Send. How’s your day? Its ok, um do I know you? No but you seem like a nice girl. Well I don’t talk to people I don’t know. Well how do you make friends? Do you know them when you meet them? Well….no but still I have no idea who you are and we don’t live in the same state. That’s ok, I’m just here to make friends, I promise.  Sandy didn’t feel comfortable. Her stomach clenched every time she saw the little three dots as he was thinking of typing. She takes a deep breath, Look I don’t want to be rude but I don’t feel comfortable talking to you like this. I’m sorry. It goes silent and no chatting. Sandy gets up while still looking to see if he responds. Nothing. So she turns and checks on the water. “Almost done” she whispers. Then…BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP. Over and Over. She runs toward her computer to see him saying. I’m not a bad guy, I’m just trying to nice, WHat is with all this hate. I’m not a weirdo. I’m just a nice guy making friends. And you paint. I’m really into painting. “Wait…” she thought to herself. Painting? Then her eyes widen and her jaw drops. This is the same guy who liked all of my instagram photos of my paintings! He doesnt have a photo like the guy saying he loved my paintings and wanted me to send him photos so he can paint me. He commented on all of them, it was scary. ” How did he find me on facebook? * SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* ” EEK” Sandy jumped and screamed. ” Oh its just the tea kettle”. Her heart is pounding like its trying to get out of her chest. Boop. She walks over and see’s the last message he sends.  Hey I’m not trying to be weird I promise, I will leave you alone until you message me back. I swear, I am just looking for a friend, nothing else. As soon as I seem weird or too much you can block me right away. What do you say? Sandy stares at the message and reads it over and over. ” What do I say?”

 

Hey Everyone!!!  So this is happening to me right now. I have this guy who is doing this. He messages me everyday and he seems harmless so I kept his friend request and let him message me. But if he does anything weird I tell him and if he does ever cross the line. I save all our conversations and will report him to the police and I make sure I don’t tell him too much. Has anyone gone through this? Let me know in the comments down below! 🙂

 

Stay strong my fleshlings!

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Bad Morning

Nicole opened her hazy eyes, blinked rapidly to make the picture clear, and instantly felt exhausted. She knew right off the bat that today seemed off. As she slowly stood upright it felt as if her 20 pound German shepherd was laying on her chest.  She groaned and stood up on her two feet. A sense of dizziness hit her and she stepped on a piece of lego that her younger brother left on the floor. She screeched in sheer pain. “Fuuuuuuuuuck!” She kicked it out of her way and proceeded to the bathroom. 

After getting ready with a cold shower and not enough hair products to fix her do, she trotted off to work.  She was stuck in traffic for an hour and a half and was thirty minutes late. She parked her car and dropped her coffee on the floor. She grumted and shuffled to the door. She got to her office and the receptionist greeted her ” Good Morning Nikki, wait what are you doing here?” “Work?” Nikki said with a little bit of attitude. The receptionist looked concerned and said ” oh Charlie sent a email giving everyone the day off due to his grandmothers funeral.” Nicole didn’t say a word, she turned around and slugged back to her car. She sat there and closed the door. Looked at her steering steering wheel and screamed. Her scream was so loud that dogs barked, birds fled, and even windows cracked. After her bellow of a thousand screams she started to hyperventilating. She started her car and drove home.

-hey guys!  I don’t know what’s happening but lately everything that people in my life say just feels like nails scratching on a chalk board. I have no idea why this is happening it is messing with my life.  If peeps have any advice please help! Till next time….stay strong

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See my work!!!!

Hello Wpressers! 

I just wanted to let you guys know that I also edit videos or vlog on youtube. If you want to see my work or here what is going in my life that I might miss from my blog you can see it here! 

 

http://www.youtube.com/user/PS890/featured

 

And if you want to see my portfolio website of my special effects make up or other video projects I’ve done. Its also a wordpress website! 

http://alexismcleodtorres.wordpress.com/

 

Nothing else to report. Might put up my Fall out boy/ Panic! at the Disco post up. Its in my drafts because I think it needs more work lol. We’ll see 🙂

 

Till next time kiddies….stay strong my fleshlings 🙂

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Prisoner Of Love

Prisoner of Love

Boy meets girl. They become friends then find out they like each other. Then fall in love. Date for a while. Get married and have kids. Grow old and die together. Typical romantic structure right? Not for me, just not this time. No one can get their fairytale ending. Still, the way he looked at me with his beautiful brown eyes that when the sunlight hit them just right, it could light up a room. His smile can make any gray cloud zoom away any time, any day. When I am close, I forget to breath and my heart beats like a humming birds wings. His voice as he says good night or I love you, sends a tingling sensation from the top of my neck down to my little toes. The way he sleeps on my lap after a long day and I can feel his chest moving up and down as he inhales and exhales. It makes me feel so comfortable. How I fit so perfectly into his arms every time he holds me and I never want him to let go. And no matter what we are doing I can’t help but smile. When he’s close to me…my heart is so warm, like the sun on a spring afternoon.
You may look at this picture and agree with all of the things I just said. But my smile has become a frown. His eyes full that were full of happiness has be come full of anger like a bull about to charge. The arms around me that once held me so close, becomes pointing and waving in the air frantically. His words of I love you and good night become, you never have time and, you just don’t get it. When he does get close my heart does beat fast but for a reason uncertain at this point. The tingling sensation becomes a heat of rage surging all over. My heart that was once warm now feels cold like a long and snowy winter. And the smiles…have turned into frowns, completely expression less. I look at this picture now after 3 years of togetherness;  will stay forever in this picture like a prison in a frame.  I will forever hold it close; because it is the only way I can ever see your face everyday…

Image

Always Remember August 23, 2008

As sunlight fills my room, I sit up and clutch my pillow tight. Today is the day, I thought to myself. It has to be today..or maybe not. I jump at the small knock on the door. “Sis, we are leaving now.” says a tiny voice from the other side of the door. ” ok have fun with mom and dad and Chris! call me and take lots of photos ok?” “OK!” as every step he took to the sound of the car door slam and the engine starting I could feel my heart pumping louder and louder. ” what am I going to do?” Another jump to the sound of  a bell. It’s just my phone I said to myself thinking that would calm me down.

” hello?”
“where the hell are you?”
“At home why?”
“Is he there with you?”
“Who?”
” oh that stupid Brandon kid! the one from you birthday party, the one you were all over in front of me, how could you?”
“what are you at-“
“Don’t BS me babe! I know you like him and I will fu-“
Ouch, I thought to myself. That doesn’t feel good. Ouch!  I clutched my stomach as I fell to the floor. I could still hear him screaming but he became muffled. The pain was all over, it felt as if someone was burning the inside of my belly slowly. What is happening I thought as I dragged myself to the bathroom. I looked behind to see a streak of blood behind me. The room started to spin as if I was on a merry go round at 100 miles per hour. I could feel my body going cold and start to shake. I could hear a door bell ring and a voice say ” Hey door was open…hey you anyone here?” I tried to call out but my throat was dry, I couldn’t speak or cry or anything . the last thing I saw what a blurry figure come up to my and fade to black.
Beeping and bright white light hit me. I tried to force my eyes open but it made my world look crazed as if I just got off of a roller coaster. ” she’s awake? How are you? Can you remember anything?’ The voices were still muffled and I couldn’t see still and my head was pounding as if I was a victim of a stampede. But then my heart pounded even louder when I brushed my hand over my belly to find it smaller than before. ” Honey, its ok don’t cry” It was too late, I started to sob in front of the stranger because at that moment I knew I lost something valuable to me and my boyfriend…and he didn’t even know it was his treasure that was hidden in me but now lost forever.

My Soul is…

My Soul is….

Solid 

Like Superman holding a building 
Over his head

Protected 

Like wonder woman’s steel bands
As she deflects bullets

Dark 

Like Batman hiding in the shadows
Before he strikes his next victim

Bright 

Like green lantern’s power ring
To shine in the blackest night

My soul is my hero
It will always be there to save me.

Birdcage Necklace

Sitting on a perch is never wanted my life to be.  I grip onto the steel bars that keep the outside world from my grasp. I see the bright light shining day after day and I want to fly towards it.  Every day I sing to let them know I am here but she throws things and tells me to SHUT UP. I’ve felt so trapped for 20 years sitting on my perch. My feet are hurting, lost the feeling in my wings. Not even sure I can fly anymore, too scared to even try. But now one more year has passed, she steps towards the cage, opens the latch, I feel my wings start to twitch, and she opens the door and I zoom out!

I look at this necklace of a tiny yellow bird inside a yellow cage and it will always remind me of my time being held back by my mother and now that I am 21 she has finally  let my have my own opinions and tell her what I want in life.